Kamran Assadi | Age 33 | Father of 1
Being a father in one word?
Enlightening
There's no blueprint for "good" parenting/fathering, in what way(s) do you think you could improve as a father?
Having patience and calm more often. I don't always choose that option and it frustrates my wife a bit as I can be a bit strict. Other than that, I think I'm good.
What are you most proud of in terms of what you believe you’ve done right as a dad?
I'm very proud of showing my daughter what a complete loving two-parent family is. My dad left the household when I was a year old, so I didn't know what that was. A single parent household with no father figure or male role model was my normalcy. I'm very proud that that isn't my daughter's normalcy. Her normalcy is living and growing up with two loving parents helping her be epic - aka a Mum AND a Dad! In addition to that, because I'm around - I'm happy and proud to show her the joy and benefits of a father figure and male role model in her life and showing her how fun it is to enjoy play with her father and the bond that gives us. These things are going to shape her and be second nature for her. I never grew up with that. Having a dad around wasn't second nature for me.
Anything about fatherhood that you dislike?
Lack of personal time
What scares you most about the world our kids are growing up in?
Growing up in this world and having to navigate it as a mixed-race child. Worried about her first fight, her first heartbreak, anything she would want to experiment with (drugs, alcohol, sex).
Most important life lessons that you want your kids to learn? (list or discuss up to 3)
Love reigns and it conquers all, being selfless and helpful will enhance your mindset positively, social media is just the edited version of life for what people want to show you so don't believe the hype. (Also, in addition, your race does matter to society but don't let it dictate what you want to do - navigate it to benefit you and the people around you)
Any insights or words of encouragement for new or expecting fathers?
Be present even when the shit hits the fan. Keep communicating with the mother of the child regardless of what the status of the relationship with them is. It's all a learning curve, so be open to learn and make mistakes - there's no manual. Show love and spread joy to your child. Your child can pick up on emotions, vibes, and words - be careful what you say around them. Take it one day at a time and don't overanalyze.
Anything else that you'd like to add or share about being a Black father?
It's been a blessing that has been rewarding. It has made me smile and really enhanced the importance of male role models to me especially when I've lacked male role models in my life (including my own dad). My daughter fills my heart with joy in a way I still can't comprehend. I just want people to know and feel that in their own lives.
